Randomness Doctor Who Style
by Black Magyk
Summary: The times when the Doctors brain melts...like mine...
1. Mr Stabby

**If you don't get it type "Mr Stabby" into google so you don't think I'm a few fries short of a happy meal as Lou says.**

**I don't pwn it. I just try to make it vaguely amusing.**

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Mr Stabby! Do do do do do do! Do do do do do! It's Mr Stabby!"

The Doctor was singing as he danced round the control room brandishing a knife. Just then Rose walked in.

"DOCTOR! What did I tell you about Mr Stabby!"

The Doctor looked sheepish.

"Mr Stabby is not a toy and shouldn'tbe waved around in the TARDIS..."

"Thank you!" She confiscated My Stabby off him and walked out muttering about how bad the internet was for him.

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**Reviewers will be loved. Flamers will be shot.**


	2. Dark

**Another brain mushificator…**

It was dark.

A suffocating darkness.

He ran. And ran. Suddenly an invisible force field threw him back. He ran the opposite way. Again an unknown force sent him crashing backwards. All around he ran until he realised he was trapped in an invisible black box.

"Doctor?"

Rose! His heart lept. She was close!

"Rose? Rose! Oh dear God help me! I can't escape!"

Suddenly the light came back asRose lifted the jumper off his head and revaled his room.

"Ah," He said.

"Yeah…"

**Reviewers are Love**

**Flamers must DIEDIEDIE**


	3. Kenya

**Summer's here, I'm weird and um… pony? Yeah my brain went to sleep...**

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"Where are we?" The Doctor asked. "Where did the crack come out?"

"We're in Norway," Rose replied through tears.

"What!" He said in disbelief. "Where!"

"Norway," She repeated. "Oh no! Don't you DARE!"

Too late. The Doctor had started swaying and clicking his fingers.

"Forget Norway! Kenya! Oh Kenya! Where the giraffes are! And the zebra!"

"Mom!" Rose shouted over her shoulder. "Dad! Mickey! Get in the jeep!"

And they all slowly backed away leaving the Doctor dancing and singing on that cold windy beach.

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**If you want to watch the "Kenya" cartoon, type "Weebls sutff Kenya" into google and click the top link. (I don't own it.)**

**Review S.V.P.!**


	4. Weebls

**this is for allyou peoples who were askings for a weebl and bob fic. bob isn't in it much and lou is because she bugged me a lots.**

**i don't pwn it.**

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they were moving. and fast. shooting down the time vortex.

bang!

yes, the doctor had crash landed again.

"would you mind flying the tardis a little…better?" rose whined while picking herself up off the floor and examining the newest bruise.

"nope," he said simply. "now where are we?"

he stepped out the tardis and rose heard him scream like a girl.

"doctor! what's wrong!" she hurried out and also squealed like a little girl.

the planet of the weebls. (and sometimes weebls friend bob.)

"lo doctor." it was the almighty weebl.

"lo" the doctor replied. rose looked at him.

"um doctor…how do you know these…eggs?"

"eggs! how dares you!" the doctor growled. "these is the weebls (and sometimes weebls friend bob.) the greatest peoples ever on the internets!"

"you like pie?" asked weebl.

"no, i hate pie, its disgusting, doctor, come on we're lea-" she was cut of by the fact that she had just been thrown half a mile across the planets purple surface by an angry mob of vengeful weebls, bobs, the doctor and louise.

"WHEN COME BACK BRING PIE!" she yelled abusively.

"what are you doing heres?" asked the doctor.

"I came for the pie."

"k."

and with that they all left to hunt down hairy lee for stealing the pie.

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you likes? see how smarts i was with the no capitals?

review and you get the pie!


	5. April Fools

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! You made me smile!**

**This hasn't been beta read so it might not be as good as the others, my beta is on holiday...**

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Rose was in the kitchen preparing the meal for the evening when the Doctor walked in.

"Um…Rose?" He said hesitantly. "I need to tell you something."

"Sure, what is it?" She said turning around to face him.

"Well I was just in the med bay and I did some check up tests and I've found out…I've got cancer. I'm going to die."

"W-what?" Rose looked at him, tears welling up in her eyes. "B-but you can regenerate can't you?"

"If I got a new body that would also have cancer and because I'm a Time Lord it develops a lot quicker."

"No, no! You can't die!" She screamed.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He said quietly walking out of the room.

He stopped just outside the door, turned around and dashed into the kitchen with a big smile on his face.

He looked over at Rose who turned round to reveal the large butchers knife she had plundged into her heart.

"Um Rose? I was only joking…april fools!"

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**Probably won't get an update until next week now because I'm going on holiday.**

**Press the little blue button and tell me what you think!**


	6. The Fight

**Hey! I'm back off holiday and absolutely, totally OUT OF IDEAS! The New Forest has nothing to turn into a fic!**

**Anyway, this was actually submitted on mine and Lou's joint account (HarpyQueens) but it didn't actually get noticed so I thought I'd post it here.**

**Only 42 words, half mine half Lous part Mean Girls, Part Little Britain (Obviously not ours).**

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The Dotor and Mickey watched as Rose and Sarah-Jane rolled around on the floor, biting and scratching, kicking and punching.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" Suggested Mickey.

"Ssshhh!" Said the Doctor holding up a hand and staring intently. "Hey! Take your shirts off!"

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**You liked? Review S.V.P. DDDDD**


	7. Sweet Transvestite

**An update! Quick! Cheer! This is based on my favourite musical of all time, yup you guessed it, The Rocky Horror Picture Show! Come on sing along! I'm just a sweet transvestite...**

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Rose was bored. Really bored. So being a bored human she decided that it might be fun to explore the TARDIS and maybe press a few buttons along the way.

She stumbled into the infinately large video library and started browsing the shelves. Suddenly she stumbled upon a big, red button with the words "Private, Do Not Push!" written in big letters by it. Did the Doctor think she was stupid? "Do Not Push!" He knows she wouldn't pay any attention to that, unless he was relying on reverse psychology which meant that she knew that he knew he didn't want her to press it but the sign meant that she would but then she would think he meant that she was supposed to press it and wouldn't but then the author got confused so screw this sentence.

Anyway she was bored and the Doctor wasn't around to yell abuse at her so she pressed the button.

A mysterious door opened from out of one of the shelves and, of course, being a bored human she stepped through the _mysterious door_ and into another much smaller shelved room.

There was about 50 or so DVDs and looking at the labels they all seemed to be about the Doctor.

One caught her eye. "Sweet Transvestite." Rose grinned and slotted it into a conveniently located DVD player and pressed play.

What she saw next made her fall onto the floor screaming with mirth.

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Later the Doctor was walking through the corridors of the TARDIS when he thought he heard music coming from the control room.

_I'm just a sweet transvestite_

_From Transexual, Transylvania_

The Doctor froze. She couldn't have found…he thought that the reverse psychology would put her off.

He dashed into the room to have the worst and best moment of his life.

There was Rose playing his video. The one he recorded after watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The one that involved him in a corset and fishnets. Oh dear. That was the worst moment of his very long life.

However, the best moment came next. He looked up at Rose. And Bloody Hell did she look hot in fishnets or what.

She looked up.

"Um…I'm a sweet transvestite?"

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**Well that's your last update for at least ten days:'( Going to cornwall, I'll try and get in an internet cafe, but it depends if it has word. Reviews would be nice to come back to hintwinknudge**

**Bai Bai! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**


	8. The Bad Reviewer

**Rating may change because of language, tell me what you think.**

**This chapter is dedicated to all my nice reviewers. **

**BassDragonofHell JosieSPRX, eeveekitty85, mountlandlass, EvilspyAchacia, carebare, No.1 DragonSlayer, Izzfrogger, CrazyWho, Nenime Fish, Errant of the Violet Shockers, Laseri, The Amazing Aliano, Ginger zip, taby42, runs with sissors, Sarah Tribbiani-Lick The Enemy, Hobbit985, And last but certainy not least .Her.Freezing.Hell., Immi-in-the-TARDIS and Angelpuppets123 who without you I wouldn't owe my soul, happiness or complete randomness! I LOVE YOU ALL!**

Rose was on the internet. And obviously the first thing you do on the internet is type your name into a search engine…Isn't it?

"Rose…Tyler…enter!" Rose mumbled under her breath.

5,000,000 results.

"Bugger. Okay then…The…Doctor…enter!"

100,000,000 results.

"Crap. Fine…Rose…Tyler…The…Doctor…enter!"

100,000 results.

"Hmm…" Rose started browsing through the results. "Queen Victoria, Charles Dickens, Aliens, Mickeys site, blah blah blah…hang on…what the f-"As The Doctor moved closer towards her Rose sighed as their mouths met." Fcking Hell! Doctor! Come here!"

The Doctor came strolling into her room.

"You called?"

"Come and look at this!"

So he strolled over, taking his time because that is what you can do when you're a Time Lord. Finally he reached the desk.

"Did you know that people know every adventure we've ever had? And they write stuff about it! Look! "Rose felt as though she'd never love anyone as much as him" What the hell?! It says here I'm pregnant! With you! And look, this ones got me crying about you! What do they take me for! Who the hell writes this stuff?"

"Look at that one! No, not _Blood Stained Snow_! _Randomness Doctor Who Style_! I wanna see it!" The Doctor pointed to the screen.

Rose clicked the link, and soon they were both laughing.

"Review it!" Yelled the Doctor while dancing and singing Mr Stabby. (**A.N. winkwinknudge It's Doctor approved!**).

"Great…Fic…Doctor…Is…Dancing…Hate…You…Because…He's…Never…Gonna…Stop…Thanks…A…Lot…RoseXXX Enter! There!"

"Cool, now look what other people have written!"

So they spent a few minutes looking at all the wonderful reviews, until they came across the not-so-wonderful one.

"Who the hell wrote that? What a jerk! BOO! YOU SUCK!" The Doctor was yelling abuse at the computer screen.

"Doctor! Pack it in! Honestly. Lets go on someone else's, um… .Her.Freezing.Hell. _Captured_, see it's one of BlackMagyk's friends."

And so they spent another glorious hour reading _Captured_.

"Oh. My. God! What an ending! Okay, I really wish that had actually happened! Doctor, take me there, Now!" Rose was yelling excitedly.

"Um…Rose? It isn't real." The Doctor said, looking scared. "But we could review and tell her we like it!"

So they reviewed.

"Loved…The…Story…Rose…Got…Overly…Excited…Keep…It…Up…Love…The Doctor XXXX"

"Okay, I wanna read her reviews too!" Rose squealed, still excited. So they read, and read, and read the endless pages of reviews which she gets THAT I DON'T! Ahem…Anyway, and they finally got to a review by the same crappy reviewer and this time Rose got mad.

"LOOK! Her again! Right, Doctor, Arm yourself."

So they shoomed (**A.N. I think that's what the TARDIS sounds like**) off into the time vortex, to wherever the hell the reviewer lived and knocked on her door

"What do you want?! I'm in the middle of criticising peoples writing for no reason here!"

And with that the Doctor blew up her head with the Sonic Screwdriver and walked away laughing merrily.


End file.
